| Searching for hope after tragedy strikes |
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| News - Miami County News | |||
| Written by Brian McCauley | |||
| Wednesday, 21 January 2009 08:00 | |||
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The lives of Tonya Ball-Tigner and her four young boys were flipped upside down last year. New city, new home and new schools, a transition that was difficult but absolutely necessary. Painful memories during the day, horrific nightmares at night, and a lingering smell Tonya says she will never forget. There was no question about it — their Olathe home had to be abandoned. Last fall, the 2,800-square-foot house with a pond behind it was the perfect place for Tonya and her husband, Robert, to raise their four boys. Wade Tigner, 4, and Wesley Tigner, 2, are Tonya’s and Robert’s boys, while Ty McClendon, 12, and Kyle McClendon, 9, are from Tonya’s previous marriage. Tonya grew up in Spring Hill and finished high school in Paola. She lived in Osawatomie for three years, but after her divorce, she moved to Olathe in 2000 and began living with Robert. They got married in 2007. “He was the best father anybody could have asked for,” Tonya said. Robert was self-employed and also took care of the boys during the day. Last September, when Tonya left with her two older sons to visit a friend for the weekend, Robert jumped at the chance to watch his two youngest boys. When Tonya called Robert on Friday, Sept. 12, they talked about bills and other everyday stuff. She had no idea it would be the last time she would hear his voice. Tonya tried calling several more times again on Saturday, but Robert didn’t pick up his cell phone. Tonya wasn’t immediately concerned. “He hated cell phones,” Tonya said. “He wouldn’t walk across the room to pick it up, it was the least of his concerns.” Still, when Tonya couldn’t get a hold of him on Sunday, she started to get concerned. She knew she had to get to her job as an Olathe bus driver on Monday, but she still couldn’t get a hold of her husband. Early Monday morning, Tonya tried calling Robert’s father, who said he also had been trying to get a hold of Robert all weekend. Knowing something had to be wrong, Tonya hurried over to the house. She gasped as she opened the door, revealing her home in complete disarray. “The house was trashed,” she said. Four-year-old Wade met his mother at the door. “I’m watching Bubby, he’s asleep,” Wade said. Tonya rushed over to the couch, where 2-year-old Wesley was asleep and wearing a completely soaked diaper. “Daddy’s been asleep for a long time,” Wade said. Tonya hurried to the bedroom, where she was nearly knocked off her feet by a powerful unrecognizable smell. On the bed, lay her husband Robert, who had suffered a brain aneurism and passed away on what doctors believe was likely Friday night. All Tonya could do was collapse. The next few days were a blur for Tonya and her boys. Friends and family offered to help out, but nothing could change the harsh reality she was now faced with. She couldn’t afford the home they were living in, and the memories were just too painful to deal with. Tonya learned the boys had slept with their father throughout the weekend and tried to wake him up. They also had to get creative to eat because the house had child locks on the refrigerator and pantry. Wade mixed seasoning packets in water to feed his younger brother, and they both ate leftover birthday cake that was left out. Tonya said it was a blessing that the boys didn’t go outside, where they could have gotten into the pond. About a week after the incident, Tonya placed the family’s belongings in a storage facility and moved to an 800-square-foot apartment in Spring Hill. “There was no way we could go back and live there,” she said. “We would go up to check the mail, and before we’d get to the driveway, Wesley would yell, ‘daddy!’” Tonya said it has been particularly tough for Wade. “They were attached at the hip,” she said, fighting back tears. “When he lays down at night, he asks if he can talk to daddy, and he starts talking. For Christmas, he asked for a new daddy.” And for Tonya, she misses her comforting partner and respected father. “I miss his presence everyday,” she said. “You take for granted what’s here, and when it’s gone, you realize what you had.” Tonya said the boys are getting used to their new schools in Spring Hill, but she is struggling to pay the bills and provide for them. She also hates the fact that they are stuck in a cramped apartment and no longer have a yard to play in. She has received support from her parents in Osawatomie, as well as siblings in Osawatomie, Paola and Wellsville, but the family still is in need. The community is invited to help out by attending a fund-raiser Feb. 7 at VFW Post 3712 on South Silver Street in Paola. A spaghetti feed will begin at 4:30 p.m., followed by an auction/raffle from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. and a Texas Hold’em tournament at 7:30 p.m. There will be prizes for first and second places. The dinner will cost $5 per person or $20 per family, and all donations would be appreciated.
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